Turning to Yoga: A Mid-Life Male’s Musing
I am frustrated.
I'm standing outside a large, open room and feeling mentally ill-equipped for the moment. I enter to find fit-looking women territorially positioned and casually dressed in either loose garb or body-clinging tights and tops. Though there’s plenty of space, the ladies congregate in the middle of the room. Each woman has a mat, some sort of rubberized blocks, and a strap. I'm wearing running shorts and T-shirt and feel pretty much clueless about what’s coming next. Why am I here? I need to do something for my health and sanity. Running took its toll on my lower back and right hip, and I get agitated if I can’t do meaningful exercise. It’s my first yoga class, and I'm wary. I meekly stake out my own eight by four foot hardwood real estate in the first available opening. Then, I lay down my mat in the midst of the group, and mimic my classmates. I sit quietly wondering whether this was a good idea.
The instructor introduces herself and queries us regarding our experience with yoga and our physical condition, specifically pregnancies and existing injuries. As the class begins and I go through the gentle warm-up exercises and listen to the instructor, a change comes over me.
"It's all in the breath," she explains.
After a few more minutes, I think, "This is great stuff. Too bad I didn’t take this up 20 years ago. It might have helped my running." My mind started racing and tried to capture how I breathe when running. Though I experimented with various techniques, for the most part, breathing “just happened.” The faster I ran, the more rapid the breath. But after a few yoga breathing cycles I realized that my breath was actually quite shallow and uncontrolled. In yoga breathing is almost always through the nose. Deep breathing requires use of diaphragm and expansion into the chest and shoulders. Advanced deep breathing adds abdominal muscle control following complete exhalation. It sounds easier than it actually is – at least for me.
There’s a simple explanation why breathing is a fundamental tenet of yoga. We all draw energy from our breath. And in class after class with different instructors, the theme is consistent and a simple truth emerges: We can live without food, water, and rest for extended periods, but without breath, we expire - and pretty quickly! Breath is first and foremost. This is a central doctrine of Hatha Yoga.
I've learned much in this journey to practice yoga. My motives were purely physical initially - restore the back, alleviate past abuses, and balance the body. But as I acquired competence with the poses and developed greater flexibility, the philosophy of the practice penetrated my thoughts. At first, none of this interested me. I favored instructors who taught “power yoga.” I just wanted to muscle my way through the routines. Gradually, I began to appreciate the innate insight one gains of one's self through yoga. Now, we are all different so I don’t suppose this will apply universally, but yoga has improved my self-patience, and as a result, my patience with others. I attribute this change to the concentration one applies while controlling the body and mind during yoga routines. The effort required far differs from swinging a bat or tennis racket. In the latter cases, one looks outward to align the body to respond to an external stimulus. With yoga, the look turns inward to align body and mind to task. To help their students, yoga instructors will often remind their classes to clear their minds of distracting thoughts to improve the benefits in performing a pose. I believe the ability to achieve both inward and outward control of one’s actions improves one’s quality of life. Prior to yoga my emphasis seemed exclusively outward (response) directed.
In Western societies yoga still lags in popularity, particularly among men. My past reveals why. I grew up in the typical public school environment where personal popularity depended on how well one played competitive team sports. The workplace is no different. You must be competitive and conventional. And yoga is neither of these, nor flashy, nor public. Yoga requires introspection, but who today promotes the inward look? Are we not manipulated and encouraged not to pursue self enlightenment to better fulfill our roles as consumers? Our distractions and addictions - drugs, sports, alcohol, television, computers, overwork, and pursuit of material and fame - help eliminate the need for self intimacy.
Yoga, however, helps extract the individual from social pressures, generates a communal spirit with fellow yogis, and eliminates any need for competitiveness or adversarial interaction. Skeptics may argue that running, tennis, golf or popular team sports stimulate mental discipline and the self-criticism required to motivate self-improvement. Further, working as team members and developing strategies of play enhance our social skills, ultimately improving our societies. While these premises have merit, they overlook several critical aspects of self-intimacy and self-awareness that yoga naturally incorporates.
In yoga there is no need to critique or analyze performance. You are in control of your body and mind, not outside influences. You are who you are, and you perform a pose or routine to whatever level you're at. Try your best and benefit by focusing the mind on your body and how it is responding to what you are doing with and to it. Inhale relaxation. Exhale tension. Regarding teamwork, yogis share an intimate bond through self-acceptance and inner peace that ease contact with others.
Can walking or hiking, combined with a solid stretch and flex routine, substitute for yoga? Perhaps. But I have found a deeper appreciation of these activities from my practice of yoga.
Yoga can be very challenging for some and still is to me. When I first started and got into the basic seated posture, my stiffness and lack of flexibility showed. It was painful after a few minutes. Not now. And my breathing is no longer shallow. I have even used yoga breathing to calm myself prior to key meetings – and I was CEO-equivalent of a 5,000 person organization. Whether standing before a large crowd of hundreds of employees, hosting VIPs, or conducting a staff meeting, the slow, methodical breathing helped to clear my mind, relax me, and subsequently focus on meeting objectives. I could be sitting at my desk prior to a meeting or standing near a podium waiting to speak, and all I had to do was clear my mind and take a few deep yoga breaths. The result: Little or no stress and improved confidence. I also no longer feel I have to live up to some idealized wannabe manufactured by society. All these benefits, and more, emerged by embracing yoga without being obsessive about it. I just stuck with it and kept an open mind.
I encourage everyone to consider yoga as part of an exercise routine. And if you’re male, I doubly encourage you to break out of that traditional mold and experience a refreshing yet still physically challenging experience, with health benefits for mind and body. Sure, you may have to endure some classes being the only of your gender, but how bad can that be? Also, find a branch of yoga that best suits your objectives. Since yoga means a union between self and either a supreme being or an ultimate principle, it fits within any major religious doctrine, agnosticism, or atheism. Yoga, then, is both universal and highly personal. Enjoy the journey, and may you find your own internal synergy along the way.
As for me, I am no longer frustrated.
I am frustrated.
I'm standing outside a large, open room and feeling mentally ill-equipped for the moment. I enter to find fit-looking women territorially positioned and casually dressed in either loose garb or body-clinging tights and tops. Though there’s plenty of space, the ladies congregate in the middle of the room. Each woman has a mat, some sort of rubberized blocks, and a strap. I'm wearing running shorts and T-shirt and feel pretty much clueless about what’s coming next. Why am I here? I need to do something for my health and sanity. Running took its toll on my lower back and right hip, and I get agitated if I can’t do meaningful exercise. It’s my first yoga class, and I'm wary. I meekly stake out my own eight by four foot hardwood real estate in the first available opening. Then, I lay down my mat in the midst of the group, and mimic my classmates. I sit quietly wondering whether this was a good idea.
The instructor introduces herself and queries us regarding our experience with yoga and our physical condition, specifically pregnancies and existing injuries. As the class begins and I go through the gentle warm-up exercises and listen to the instructor, a change comes over me.
"It's all in the breath," she explains.
After a few more minutes, I think, "This is great stuff. Too bad I didn’t take this up 20 years ago. It might have helped my running." My mind started racing and tried to capture how I breathe when running. Though I experimented with various techniques, for the most part, breathing “just happened.” The faster I ran, the more rapid the breath. But after a few yoga breathing cycles I realized that my breath was actually quite shallow and uncontrolled. In yoga breathing is almost always through the nose. Deep breathing requires use of diaphragm and expansion into the chest and shoulders. Advanced deep breathing adds abdominal muscle control following complete exhalation. It sounds easier than it actually is – at least for me.
There’s a simple explanation why breathing is a fundamental tenet of yoga. We all draw energy from our breath. And in class after class with different instructors, the theme is consistent and a simple truth emerges: We can live without food, water, and rest for extended periods, but without breath, we expire - and pretty quickly! Breath is first and foremost. This is a central doctrine of Hatha Yoga.
I've learned much in this journey to practice yoga. My motives were purely physical initially - restore the back, alleviate past abuses, and balance the body. But as I acquired competence with the poses and developed greater flexibility, the philosophy of the practice penetrated my thoughts. At first, none of this interested me. I favored instructors who taught “power yoga.” I just wanted to muscle my way through the routines. Gradually, I began to appreciate the innate insight one gains of one's self through yoga. Now, we are all different so I don’t suppose this will apply universally, but yoga has improved my self-patience, and as a result, my patience with others. I attribute this change to the concentration one applies while controlling the body and mind during yoga routines. The effort required far differs from swinging a bat or tennis racket. In the latter cases, one looks outward to align the body to respond to an external stimulus. With yoga, the look turns inward to align body and mind to task. To help their students, yoga instructors will often remind their classes to clear their minds of distracting thoughts to improve the benefits in performing a pose. I believe the ability to achieve both inward and outward control of one’s actions improves one’s quality of life. Prior to yoga my emphasis seemed exclusively outward (response) directed.
In Western societies yoga still lags in popularity, particularly among men. My past reveals why. I grew up in the typical public school environment where personal popularity depended on how well one played competitive team sports. The workplace is no different. You must be competitive and conventional. And yoga is neither of these, nor flashy, nor public. Yoga requires introspection, but who today promotes the inward look? Are we not manipulated and encouraged not to pursue self enlightenment to better fulfill our roles as consumers? Our distractions and addictions - drugs, sports, alcohol, television, computers, overwork, and pursuit of material and fame - help eliminate the need for self intimacy.
Yoga, however, helps extract the individual from social pressures, generates a communal spirit with fellow yogis, and eliminates any need for competitiveness or adversarial interaction. Skeptics may argue that running, tennis, golf or popular team sports stimulate mental discipline and the self-criticism required to motivate self-improvement. Further, working as team members and developing strategies of play enhance our social skills, ultimately improving our societies. While these premises have merit, they overlook several critical aspects of self-intimacy and self-awareness that yoga naturally incorporates.
In yoga there is no need to critique or analyze performance. You are in control of your body and mind, not outside influences. You are who you are, and you perform a pose or routine to whatever level you're at. Try your best and benefit by focusing the mind on your body and how it is responding to what you are doing with and to it. Inhale relaxation. Exhale tension. Regarding teamwork, yogis share an intimate bond through self-acceptance and inner peace that ease contact with others.
Can walking or hiking, combined with a solid stretch and flex routine, substitute for yoga? Perhaps. But I have found a deeper appreciation of these activities from my practice of yoga.
Yoga can be very challenging for some and still is to me. When I first started and got into the basic seated posture, my stiffness and lack of flexibility showed. It was painful after a few minutes. Not now. And my breathing is no longer shallow. I have even used yoga breathing to calm myself prior to key meetings – and I was CEO-equivalent of a 5,000 person organization. Whether standing before a large crowd of hundreds of employees, hosting VIPs, or conducting a staff meeting, the slow, methodical breathing helped to clear my mind, relax me, and subsequently focus on meeting objectives. I could be sitting at my desk prior to a meeting or standing near a podium waiting to speak, and all I had to do was clear my mind and take a few deep yoga breaths. The result: Little or no stress and improved confidence. I also no longer feel I have to live up to some idealized wannabe manufactured by society. All these benefits, and more, emerged by embracing yoga without being obsessive about it. I just stuck with it and kept an open mind.
I encourage everyone to consider yoga as part of an exercise routine. And if you’re male, I doubly encourage you to break out of that traditional mold and experience a refreshing yet still physically challenging experience, with health benefits for mind and body. Sure, you may have to endure some classes being the only of your gender, but how bad can that be? Also, find a branch of yoga that best suits your objectives. Since yoga means a union between self and either a supreme being or an ultimate principle, it fits within any major religious doctrine, agnosticism, or atheism. Yoga, then, is both universal and highly personal. Enjoy the journey, and may you find your own internal synergy along the way.
As for me, I am no longer frustrated.
1 comment:
Hi Frank
This is just lovely. A really great revision. I think it works better as a longer piece because the details you leave in are so important.
Small edits at this point:
"Then, I lay down my mat in the midst of the group, and mimic my classmates."
Instead, try something like this:
Then, I unfurl my mat in the midst of the group, and mimic my classmates by sitting quietly. I may look peaceful, but inside, I'm wondering if this is a good idea.
Anytime you can use a more specific, accurate, or action verb, rather than a form of "to be" or "has/have," the more your piece comes to life.
The paragraphs where you talk about breathe and breathing works really well. I think it's important to show the evolution of your relationship to your breathe and how it's helped you outside the studio.
You do a good job of giving some of the counterarguments to yoga. While reading your piece, it made me feel that all schoolchildren should take yoga in gym. How great to have access to the practice early in life!
There's something about the tone of this piece that feels different from the last draft. It seems more compassionate to the reader, more gentle somehow. I really like it.
I continue to like the frame of the piece--the move from frustrated to peaceful.
If you are thinking about publishing this piece, I think you might start locally, and see about submitting it to some publications, the health or life sections of the newspaper, or local magazines. There's no real reason it has to be local though--I'm only saying that because maybe you might know someone in your area who would look at the piece and consider publishing it (if that's what you want to do). Or you can go into a coffee shop and find a magazine or publication that you might want to submit to. At the very least, please consider submitting your work to the Tufts Osher literary journal.
Great work, Frank. You've done an amazing job with these drafts and really moved the piece from image and idea to something very developed and meaningful.
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